still missing you...

     It's hard to believe it's been a year since I started to feel the deep sorrow in my life, I really missed my brother John Aries who passed away last December 18, 2010.  To be honest, until now I am in the state of reminiscing the little moments we have shared way back home.  I still remember how he felt happy everytime I went home from Manila to our native place Natatas in Tanauan, Batangas riding in my favorite Sym scooter via Tagaytay down to the Ligaya drive.  As I arrived, he immediately come to me and greet and asked if he can use my scooter... which I immediately handed to him.  A good and silent boy as I knew him, we didn't have much time to talk about how and what his life is going on at that time... but I really knew how he realy feels because I used to be like him more than twenty years ago.  
    By the time he died, I was really shocked and felt helpless for not doing anything how to get home to the Philippines because at that time I am only in my second month here in this place I am calling -the animal kingdom... and sometimes -the land of the rising and burning sand...  
    When we lose someone that is so special in our lives, there is a tendency for us to feel emptiness.  In my case, after losing my brother, I realized right away what a great, loving person he was.  I would be remiss though I didn't mention how funny and comedian he was to his friends.  As an elder brother to him, what I did was to include him to all my every night prayer and asked our good Lord for the forgiveness and may he rest in peace.  There were times when i thought I should have spent more time with him, but as some are saying.. all are water under the bridge.  I do miss him and I know I will never hear his voice again.  His memory is all I can have in my mind and my heart.
    I try my best not to visualize or remember his death, I would rather preserve the memories of his life and the impact he made while still alive. 

here without you...

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A hundred lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same...

But all the miles that separated
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me...

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go...

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love...

bang bang bang...

                                                                   “Guns do not kill.. people do”.  Kung sino man ang naka imbento ng hinayupak na baril na yan, siguradong matagal na syang sunog sa impyerno.   Sabi nga ni Joey Ayala – “Ikaw na may baril, mabigat ang iyong pasanin… pagpisil mo ng gatilyo ilang buhay ang kikitilin, ilang anak ang iiyak o di kaya’y di maisisilang pagpisil mo ng gatilyo isip-isipin mo lang".  Maraming  pwede magbago sa isang kalabit mo ng gatilyo, at kailangan natin aminin na kung sino ang may hawak ng baril, sya ang naghahari.  Mapapatupad lang ang batas sa pamamagitan ng banta ng dahas, ang kamay na bakal ng batas ay may bala at gatilyo, di na pwede ang samurai, tsako, pana at karate.  Ang problema, di lamang gobyerno ang nagmomonopoliya sa boga.  Nung usong uso sina FPJ at kung sino pang mga action star sa pelikula, lagi natin isinisisi sa kanila ang mga karahasan. Kasi ganun ang lipunan… dapat lagi may sinisisi, kung hindi drugs, pelikula at artista, programa sa tv, mga mararahas na kanta at kung ano ano pa.  Tila ba gustong sabihin na walang kasalanan ang mga magulang sa nangyayari kapag may nahulihan na kabataan na may dalang baril.  Bakit parang mas dumarami ang mga barilan ngayon o ang mga guns related killings? Dahil ba sa dumaraming mga telenobela at tv shows na ang tema ay may barilan? Kung minsan kung may baril ka lang gusto mo ng barilin pati ang tv.  Kung ikaw ay isang magulang at ayos lang sa iyo na ang iyong anak ay mas nahuhumaling sa magugulong awitin at mga heavy metal albums ng kung ano anong banda kagaya ng Guns n’ Roses dati, o kayo'y natutuwa sa pagkahilig nila sa baril, anong klaseng magulang ka?  Sabi pa din ni Joey Ayala – “ang balang tingga ay walang mata, kung saan ka nakatutok doon sya pupunta".  Minsan may magulang din na walang mata, o kaya medyo may tililing… kagaya din ng hustisya… naka piring, walang nakikita.  Walang nakikita kung mahirap o mayaman ka, artista, warlord o pulitiko.  Pero ang tanong ko, bakit sobra na ang pagkaka piring ng sistema ng hustisya sa Pilipinas???  Kaya ikaw na may baril legal man o illegal, lalaban ka ba sa akin wala akong baril... meron ako - nuclear bomb!!!

run Aries... run.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN ARIES! your very first birthday away from home... a flower may die, the sun may set, but someone like you will never forget... forever in our thoughts.  You are sadly missed by all of us.  I don't know if all of us have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidentally.  Like on a breeze, but I think maybe it's both.  Maybe both is happening at the same time.  I miss you Aries... if there's anything you need I won't be far away...

FRAGILE

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one

Drying in the colour of the evening sun

Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away

But something in our minds will always stay

Perhaps this final act was meant

To clinch a lifetime's argument

That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could

For all those born beneath an angry star

Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall

Like tears from a star, like tears from a star

On and on the rain will say

How fragile we are, how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall

Like tears from a star, like tears from a star

On and on the rain will say

How fragile we are, how fragile we are

How fragile we are, how fragile we are

one night playing with sun and moon...

everything happens for a reason...

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there... to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become... you never know who these people may be... a friend, a neighbor, a roommate or even a stranger... but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.  Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first... but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles... you would have realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.  Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occurs to test the limits of your soul.  Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere.  It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.  The people you meet who affect your life...and the success & downfalls you experience, help to create who you are & who you become.  Even the bad experiences can be learned from.  In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones... If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them... for they helped you learn about trust... If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally... not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love... Make everyday count.  Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.  Tell yourself you are a great individual & believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.  You can make of your life anything you wish.  Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely no regrets...have a fighting spirit & never hesitate to get back in a struggle.  Most importantly, if you love someone, tell them...for you never know tomorrow may have in store, & learn a lesson in life each day you live.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that... EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

a true story...

This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the Japan Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman could be still alive. However, the cold and stiff body told him that she had passed away for sure.
He and the rest of the team left this house and were going to search the next collapsed building. For some reasons, the team leader was driven by a compelling force to go back to the ruin house of the dead woman. Again, he knelt down and used his had through the narrow cracks to search the little space under the dead body. Suddenly, he screamed with excitement,” A child! There is a child! “
The whole team worked together; carefully they removed the piles of ruined objects around the dead woman. There was a 3 months old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother’s dead body. Obviously, the woman had made an ultimate sacrifice for saving her son. When her house was falling, she used her body to make a cover to protect her son. The little boy was still sleeping peacefully when the team leader picked him up.
The medical doctor came quickly to exam the little boy. After he opened the blanket, he saw a cell phone inside the blanket. There was a text message on the screen. It said,” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” This cell phone was passing around from one hand to another. Every body that read the message wept. ” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” Such is the mother’s love for her child!!

missing you...

     

I really miss you, as I always do.  You're the only one and the reason that keeps me alive.  I miss you from the simplest things we shared  together, Oh how I wish to hold you so tight and kiss you tenderly, I need to tell you how much I miss you and how good it feels to have your skin close to mine, to hold your hands, to feel your breath and look into your eyes.  Just promise me to hold on coz you're always in my thoughts every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of each week.... I wanted to feel you around my arms and caress you until the end of time,  You are the sweetest thing that ever happen in my life...

yesterday

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     My most influential humans that top them all.... used to grew up with their captivating music.  Most favorite are The Long and Winding Road & Yesterday...

the day my youngest brother died...

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  • THE DAY MY YOUNGEST BROTHER DIED
    
    
    
    
    I remember that cold dreadful night
    Waking from a crying voice
    Time had stopped, Don’t even know what time it was
    A good silent boy… amazing but now deceased
    I heard my heart shatter,
    And my soul screamed to cry.
    But I just wished I said a final goodbye…
    
    
    
    
    Ruthless pain I hide so deep inside
    I wish I could take you just once
    With me for a talk…
    Because I don’t remember if I even held you
    And now I can’t even call you,
    Or even hear your voice.
    But I need to tell you I love you,
    And yes I know I need to let go,
    But I know I can’t just let you go.
    
    
    I need to hold you in my arms, in my life
    Just one more time.
    Because my heart is broken
    From not saying goodbye
    Even for the last time at your funeral…
    
    
    
    
    I’m sorry I never said goodbye
    Or held you the day you died.
    But my love is here with my tears,
    I miss you my brother JOHN ARIES…

  
  

  
  

  
  

sentiments...

Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." This is the verse so many use to try to shame Christians for discerning poor behavior, ethics, morals, and values: the "judge not lest ye be judged verse”, but if you read the entire verse, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother's eye." You can easily see that it is condemning hypnotically judgments of other’s behavior, i.e., comdeming other for doing that which you yourself also do.

If you practice, as you said, “And I don't judge people and point fingers either. It's not up to me to tell you what you did or said that was so wrong. I'll leave that up to judgment day.” Then that leaves you to not correct the behavior or express disdain for unacceptable rude behavior in children and adults just because you do not want to judge, in part I believe that this in one reason we have such horrendous behavior in children today because of our fear to judge bad behaviors and condemn and correct it when we encounter it. When I was a child any adult would correct any child that acted out of line, today only the parent can do that, and far too often they fail to do it also.

All I had to go on was the quote, and I let it lead me where it would. If it is hair stile, clothing, I agree, judge not, but if it is rudeness or lawlessness I deter and will judge and condemn.

..When you point finger at someone, there are still three more fingers pointing at you.